LD,

ASB Case Ref: 16524 Update 19/11 Abuse.

Tuesday 19th November 2019, 1400: I was leaning out of the landing window as 164's wife passed with 'er dog, trying to make sure that she had seen me and trying to establish whether the black item carried was an empty plastic bag, a full bag of excrement or a pair of gloves. "F***ing pervert" was 'er comment. The wife had just been walking the dog on the waste ground near the garages, some of it just out of sight, where it is possible the dog had defecated, without retrieval of the faeces. Of course, this is ground that is litter-picked by yours truly!

As a reminder, I believe that my conduct is both reasonable and lawful in that it is pursued for the purpose of preventing or detecting crime; indeed you might notice that I am keen for my nasty neighbours to know, in the same manner that a warning of CCTV surveillance is issued, that they are observed, with the additional benefit that this will increase, it is hoped, the chances of their dog's waste being retrieved. Of course the local dogs' bladders and bowels are evacuated over twenty-four hours, which is why I am so keen for permission to keep dogs where no private grounds are available, to be withdrawn.

To be unequivocal, I would, as you might have gleaned, prefer to shoot any person displaying such 'social inadequacy' as walking a dog, unnecessarily, in public; sadly, this is currently unlawful, I have no skills in that area and no weaponry - in fact my current arsenal extends only to an 'alf bottle of, barely flammable, white spirit (and firing a gun might 'urt m' shoulder). I am also keen to avoid a custodial sentence as, apart from the boredom, one of the great ironies would be to find myself sharing a cell with some felon, waking every morning to find myself being violated by my neighbour's nephew!

DA